The greatest commandment that Jesus gave while on earth is love. He attributed it to doing the will of God and substituted it with the Ten Commandments given to Moses on Mount Sinai (John 15:12). He explained to the Pharisees and the scribes as well as his own followers how important it was to love everyone. At some point he even asked his disciples to go ahead and love their enemies arguing that being partial was not and is not a character of God. This is true because God gives rain and air freely to both the good and the evil.
Now the greatest question has been: How practical is “loves all people”? It is normal for Christians to love the people who do good things to them and to some extend exercise love to some who do evil things. However there is another issue which has remained a hard thing to do. This is the issue of loving the unlovable people.
Now who are the unlovable people? I will say they are those people who make it hard for themselves to be loved by doing or portraying the hate generating character again and again, thus regenerating hatred at every point of presentation. This depends on things they do or physical things they have acquired naturally like body shape or even race. Being unlovable depends on the person viewing you either physically or mentally and it is their own opinion.
Mostly people develop hatred to others when they regard them according to the human point of view. The reason why the Jews rejected Jesus is because they regarded him according to the human point of view. They saw him as a mere man claiming to be God and attributed him to the characters of Joseph and Mary, his parents .Indeed they considered him as a young man not different from his brothers.
This is the same way people do to those they live with even today. They respect them depending on what they do, own, or how they react to different issues. Now different people have different preferences and it is them that determine the human point of view. These preferences are good since they make everyone on earth to have people who hate them and also those who love them. Even the worst person has friends. You can begin the journey of loving the unlovable by understanding that all human beings are created uniquely and with different tastes. What you love is not what I love and what you hate is not what I hate but we are all people and not less by our tastes.
Below are seven steps to loving the unlovable
1. Think dynamically about the issue
A problem can be solved easily if an appropriate approach towards its solution is identified. Inappropriate methods are born by inappropriate approaches and uninvestigated ideas. Jesus said “who among you, when desiring to build a tower does not sit and count on the cost…” Luke 14:28. It therefore remains wiser to first look at the issue from different perspectives. An appropriate method is by beginning with yourself and considering how others see your character. Remember not every good thing you do makes glad all people. Some good things you do again and again irritate others till they find you unlovable. In this way then you begin seeing more of how you offend others and how you ought to appreciate them when they offend you by their characters or way of life including the physical appearance.
2. Consider the sins Jesus Forgave you
Every one on earth was born a sinner and has been involved in so many evil things in his or her life. God looks at the heart and not the outward appearance and so many times our hearts do sin more than we act physically and God is faithful to forgive us. If we consider how dirty our hearts were and the evil things we did then we can easily discover that we were worse than those we hate. But Jesus forgave us without counting our sins (2corr 5:18-20) to prove what he said to peter: You shall forgive seven times seventy times. At this point we will be able to apply the rule of forgiving others without counting on how many times they offend us since we offended God with the same thing so many times, but he forgave us.
3. Appreciate God’s Creation
When God finished the work of creation he looked at everything and saw that it was good. Nothing was bad in his sight. When we regard people by considering their origin, color or body shape then it’s like we are telling God that he did it the wrong way when he created them. But what authority has the clay over the potter. Hasn’t the potter authority from one lamb of clay to make a vessel of honor and another of less value? Does the clay complain to the potter? God made everything perfect and good, but unless we appreciate the fact that everything his good the devil will always ensnare us in his trap of hating what God created.
4. Take it to the Lord in prayer
The name itself “Unlovable” Proves that it has gone beyond a given level. It has gone from possibility to impossibility. But there is one with whom there is no impossibility. His name is the lord, Our God. He calls things which do not appear as though they do. With his word he created all the visible things. Yes that what is invisible created what is visible and invisible as well. What a beautiful thing to pray about the issue and be sure that God is doing something about it even when you can’t see it with the physical eyes. The ancient Christian hymn “What a friend we have in Jesus” Bear this message that we bear many sorrows because we do not carry everything to god in prayer. It is a privilege even to ask God to help us when we can not do it by ourselves.
5. Remember the lord prayer
While taking it to the lord in prayer we encounter this important teaching of Jesus where he said that God will forgive us if we forgive those who trespass against us (Mathew 6:12). This helps us to understand what obligation we have to God; to forgive those who trespass against us so as to gain forgiveness from God. Some times we get mad with the situation to the point of saying “To hell with you” But saying this is like telling God not to forgive us.
6. Allow God to change your attitude
While helping you, God will use his ways and not your ways. Sometimes he will help you understand how to deal with the situation rather than taking you out. God can retain you at your current work place where you boss is not caring about you just to help appreciate and understand how to live with people of his kind. It is wise to appreciate what God is presenting rather than complain to him in quest for him to do your will. Indeed he will never do your will but his will. Some times God will even tune you to love that what you hated especially if it is not a bad thing. He is able to do it no matter how you hate. I believe this is the reason why God did not save his people by taking them out of the world, but left them to live among sinners in the world. Here is a call for wisdom and understanding.
7. "Love the Person Hate the evil Character"
Finally we can love those we consider unlovable by understanding God’s way of doing it. He loves unconditionally. This is how he does it: He loves the people and hates the sin in them. Life can never be hard if we follow God’s way. It is the greatest wisdom we can have to apply to our lives and sit back to see how it will drastically change the way we view things.
Conclusion
It is possible to love the unlovable by using the right approach and applying God’s word, which reveals how God loved us while we were yet sinners and how he forgave us without counting our sins. By praying about the situation and allowing God to change our attitude then we can discover how easy it is to love the sinner and hate the sin in him.
Citations
Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version
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